- The Sentient Nacho
INACTIVE Ingredients: cheez-wiz, corn chips, salsa
ACTIVE Ingredient: San Pedro cactus, skinned, diced
CURES:
Gravity, consensus reality, proper public urination habits
POSSIBLE SIDE EFFECTS:
Acid reflux literally talks back, never goes away, and endlessly pontificates on weather.
- Reasons to Become a Nun
Reason #1: If you marry God you get all his property when he dies.
- post-oz coda.
Dear You,
What color is the Yellow Brick Road after it leaves the Emerald City?
The ground shakes where I live now. The freight trains crossing the river behind us are so heavy that they shake the earth for a quarter-mile. Reminds me of that night in California and I wonder if it’s calling me. The future, [...]
- when gas prices literally become nightmares.
I had desert dreams all last night, maybe because the weather is finally getting warm here. In one, I was at this year’s Burning Man. In another, I was driving Bob, Hannah and Austin around the desert in my Grand Am. We stopped for gas at this classic desert gas station–you know, remote and dusty–and [...]
- Traffic Report
license plates passed simultaneously on the road home:
“UROTRASH”
and
“HEHEHE”
the former on a vintage VW bus,
the latter on a repair van.
U.S. 23, south.
- On bargain basement brain chemistry.
When I was a kid, I was convinced I came from K-Mart. After all, that’s where you buy things that start with a “K.”
I’ve had a low-grade depression for the past few months that I just can’t seem to shake. It’s affecting my desire to talk to people and the ability to get things done. [...]
- old dichotomies.
“I’ve shifted into analytical mode lately. My output for a while is likely to be only articles of nonfiction.”
Only likely.
“I’m becoming more verbose. That’s always a sure sign. It’s weird, and so is my syntax.”
A bat just hit the window.
“That’s weird. Anyway, a friend of mine said something about the number 27 always being the [...]
- Exit ramp to the Twilight Zone
I got into a very curious car wreck yesterday while coming back from Detroit.
I was happily texting in the passenger’s seat when I heard a loud thud and felt the car lurch. I looked over my shoulder to see an old blue Buick airborne as it flew down a hill and crashed through the fence [...]
- Poetry in the news.
1. Priest ascends sky on helium balloons.
2. LOCAL MAN BURNED
ANN ARBOR, MI - A man was found in a wooded area of a city park yesterday, naked and on fire.
A passing woman mistook him for a pile of smoldering debris.
- Far-out theories and musings
I think most people have an inner amateur philosopher inside them that cranks out theories to explain themselves and the world. A lot of these theories are crackheaded and that’s what makes them fun.
1. For example, I think that if UFOs are real, the reason that they are so capable of such silence and seemingly [...]
